Guilt about feeling happy can arise for different reasons.
Deep down you may believe that you don't deserve to be happy because
you hurt someone in the past,
had more than others growing up, or maybe
you received a mean comment from someone you admire.
Or worst, the source of your happiness caused another grief.
Perhaps it once seemed that painful experiences always followed happy ones; now whenever you begin to feel happy, you find yourself waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Happiness may even just feel uncomfortable because you've gotten so used to feeling down.
The truth is that when you feel too guilty to let yourself enjoy positive emotions, you are denying a part of yourself that has a right to exist.
By limiting your life experience to just the negative feelings, you are cutting yourself off from the fullness of life which includes all of the positive emotions as well.
Fortunately, you can begin to shift the way you respond to happiness even in this moment.
When happiness begins to blossom in your heart, accept it, relish it, ask it to stay.
It's okay to feel happy even if you believe you don't deserve it.
Feeling good is an expression of your wholeness and your connection with life.
The next time happiness appears for you, try not to feel guilty about it.
Instead, welcome in your happiness like a long-awaited friend.
Monday, December 31, 2018
My 263rd consecutive posting, committed to 5,000.
Time is 12.01am.
On Monday, Boston’s temperature will reach a high of 45*.
Day getting progressively cloudy with periods of rain tonight.
Dinner is out at Abe and Louie’s.
Remember that we panned the meal we had at L’Espalier on Thanksgiving, especially for lack of artistry in the menu?
Turn out that L’Espalier is closing after New Year’s Eve.
Question of the Day:
What is a New Year’s Resolution?
City Life: Ice Skating on Boston Common
On far left, a healthy queue to get onto ice, three views of ice skating follow.
I love the view of the Beacon Hill houses in the distance.
Answer to Question:
A New Year's resolution is a tradition, most common in the Western Hemisphere but also found in the Eastern Hemisphere, in which a person resolves to change an undesired trait or behavior, to accomplish a personal goal or otherwise improve their life.
Babylonians made promises to their gods at the start of each year that they would return borrowed objects and pay their debts.
The Romans began each year by making promises to the god Janus, for whom the month of January is named.
In the Medieval era, the knights took the "peacock vow" at the end of the Christmas season each year to re-affirm their commitment to chivalry.
At watchnight services, many Christians prepare for the year ahead by praying and making these resolutions.
This tradition has many other religious parallels.
During Judaism's New Year, Rosh Hashanah, through the High Holidays and culminating in Yom Kippur (the Day of Atonement), one is to reflect upon one's wrongdoings over the year and both seek and offer forgiveness.
People can act similarly during the Christian liturgical season of Lent, although the motive behind this holiday is more of sacrifice than of responsibility.
In fact, the Methodist practice of New Year's resolutions came, in part, from the Lenten sacrifices.
The concept, regardless of creed, is to reflect upon self-improvement annually.
At the end of the Great Depression, about a quarter of American adults formed New Year's resolutions. At the start of the 21st century, about 40% did.
In fact, according to the American Medical Association, approximately 40% to 50% of Americans participated in the New Year's resolution tradition from the 1995 Epcot and 1985 Gallop Polls.
A study found 46% of participants who made common New Year's resolutions (e.g. weight loss, exercise programs, quitting smoking) were likely to succeed, over ten times as among those deciding to make life changes at other times of the year.
Some popular resolutions are:
Promise to donate to charities more often
Try to become more assertive
Strive to be more environmentally responsible.
Improve physical well-being: eat healthy food, lose weight, exercise more, eat better, drink less alcohol, quit smoking, stop biting nails, get rid of old bad habits
Improve mental well-being: think positive, laugh more often, enjoy life
Improve finances: get out of debt, save money, make small investments
Improve career: perform better at current job, get a better job, establish own business
Improve education: improve grades, get a better education, learn something new (such as a foreign language or music), study often, read more books, improve talents
Improve self: become more organized, reduce stress, be less grumpy, manage time, be more independent, perhaps watch less television, play fewer sitting-down video games
Take a trip
Volunteer to help others, practice life skills, use civic virtue, give to charity, volunteer to work part-time in a charity organization
Get along better with people, improve social skills, enhance social intelligence
Make new friends
Spend quality time with family members
Settle down, get engaged/get married, have kids
Pray more, be more spiritual
Be more involved in sports or different activities
Spend less time on social media (such as Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr etc.)
Spend more time on social media (such as Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr etc.)
The most common reason for participants failing their New Years' Resolutions was setting themselves unrealistic goals (35%), while 33% didn't keep track of their progress and a further 23% forgot about it. About one in 10 respondents claimed they made too many resolutions.
A 2007 study by Richard Wiseman from the University of Bristol involving 3,000 people showed that 88% of those who set New Year resolutions fail, despite the fact that 52% of the study's participants were confident of success at the beginning.
Men achieved their goal 22% more often when they engaged in goal setting, (a system where small measurable goals are being set; such as, a pound a week, instead of saying "lose weight").
Good morning on this Monday, December 31
We talked about accepting ourselves as worthy of all the good that comes at us.
We got some views of ice skating on the Boston Common.
And we reviewed some historical highlights of the origins of New Year’s Resolutions,.
It’s New Year’s Eve.
Che vuoi? Le pocketbook?
See you soon.